Have you ever looked at your life and thought, "This isn't what I prayed for?" Maybe you've whispered in waiting rooms, on sleepless nights, or even sitting in church, "God, this doesn't seem fair. Why does it look like you're blessing everyone else and bypassing me?"

If you've found yourself asking these questions, you're not alone. In fact, you're in the company of the Apostle Paul and the early Roman Christians who wrestled with the very same doubts about God's justice and mercy in the midst of their mess.

When Life Doesn't Make Sense

As we continue our journey through the book of Romans, we find ourselves in chapters 9-11, where Paul addresses some of the most challenging questions about faith. These chapters reveal several powerful themes: God's sovereign election, His mercy and patience with wickedness, and the truth that nothing secures our place in God's family other than faith in Christ alone.

But here's the overarching truth I want to unpack today: God can use the bad things in our lives to bring about good things.

In Romans 9:14-18, Paul writes: "What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses, 'I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.' It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy. For Scripture says to Pharaoh: 'I raised you up for this very purpose, that I might display my power in you and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.' Therefore God has mercy on whom he wants to have mercy, and he hardens whom he wants to harden."

Mercy Redefines the Rules

The first truth we need to understand is that mercy redefines the rules. When Paul poses the question "Is God unjust?" he gives a quick, decisive answer: "Not at all!" There's no room for debate here. God is just, but our confusion often comes from misunderstanding what true justice looks like.

What can feel like injustice to us is often mercy in disguise. Grace is God's unmerited favor, giving us things we don't deserve. But mercy is God's withholding of the things we actually do deserve, offering us kindness, forgiveness, and restoration instead.

Mercy is God's compassionate withholding of the judgment we deserve, and then instead offering kindness, forgiveness, and restoration. And here's the key: it's not about our human desire or effort, it's about receiving mercy.

The Performance Trap

I grew up as the oldest of five kids in a home where love felt conditional on performance. I was getting my siblings ready for school, packing lunches, making breakfast, and trying to keep everyone quiet so I wouldn't face consequences. I learned early that love and attention came when I performed well, and were withheld when I didn't.

Many of us carry this performance-based thinking into our relationship with God. We think somehow, if we're good enough, disciplined enough, and on our best behavior, we can bypass certain pain points in life. But here's the truth: life is problematic. We live in a fallen world where pain is inevitable, and it has nothing to do with our behavior.

The most beautiful, peaceful way to live is when you finally understand that God's love has nothing to do with your good behavior. It's not about reading your Bible more, praying more, or worshiping harder. It was Jesus' sacrifice, not ours. His obedience, not ours.

If you didn't read one more scripture or serve in one more ministry, God couldn't love you more or less. You cannot earn more grace or mercy, it's already freely given in its full measure.

Mercy Can Be Hidden in Egypt

Paul makes an interesting reference to Pharaoh in this passage, pointing us back to the Exodus story. Sometimes we find ourselves in what I call an Egypt season: times of oppression, frustration, and hardship where we wonder if God is even present.

The children of Israel experienced this during their captivity in Egypt. They were oppressed, enslaved, and forced to work beyond their physical capabilities. But, remarkably, they needed that season of captivity for the ultimate display of God's power in the massive exodus that followed.

Finding God in the Plagues

Here's something that stands out to me about the plagues: the children of Israel went through them too. They weren't just happening to the Egyptians; God's people were right there in the middle of all those frogs, locusts, and pestilence. Can you imagine how much they were probably questioning God's justice and favor during those times?

But what seemed horrible and insurmountable was actually God displaying His glory for everyone to see. It was absolutely undeniable that God Almighty was causing those miraculous events. What appeared to be chaos was fully in His control, fully orchestrated by Him.

The same is true for your Egypt season. Whether you're facing relational issues, financial frustration, infertility, loneliness, or depression, God's power and mercy can be on full display even in the middle of your plague. My challenge for you is to choose to see it. Look for His hand moving. His mercy is in this somewhere. His plan is ultimately in this somewhere.

Mercy Is Found in Surrender

Sometimes God's mercy isn't rescue, it's revelation. Maybe your prayer has been, "God, if you could just get me out of this situation." But perhaps there's something deeper in changing that prayer to, "God, what are you trying to teach me in this? What are you trying to show me?"

A Personal Testament

I don't always want to share our family's story, but it illustrates this truth beautifully. In 2023, we took our son Jude to what we thought would be a routine appointment, maybe to find out he had asthma. Within hours, we discovered he had Hodgkin's lymphoma.

That night, still in my work clothes from doing ministry earlier that day, I found myself in a hospital room asking the same question as Romans 9:14: "God, are you just? This doesn't make sense."

But in the quietness of that hospital room around 4:00 AM, I heard Jude say, "Mommy, Daddy, God just spoke to me and told me that this cancer is a hurdle, and hurdles are meant to be jumped over."

In that moment, my prayers shifted. It wasn't about "God, if you could just get us out" or "God, if you could just heal him." It became "God, you have so much to show me in the middle of this mess. Whatever it is, teach me, mold me, shape me."

Approaching the Throne of Grace

Hebrews 4:16 tells us: "Let us then approach God's throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."

If you're in an Egypt season, you're in a season where you have need. The way you obtain His mercy is by boldly coming into His presence. Then, through surrendering and acknowledging that His will is higher, His will is better, His will is for your good.

Maybe today the challenge is that your prayers look a little different when you leave here. Maybe that means:

• Trusting God more this week
• Looking for His glory right in the middle of your mess
• Changing your prayer from "get me out" to "show me who you are in this"

The Bottom Line

God is not fair by human standards.  He is merciful. And His mercy doesn't always feel like ease. In His justice, He sometimes withholds when He sees it's necessary and gives when He sees it's right and best for us.

If you look back over your life, if you had gotten everything you ever wanted, wouldn't you probably be in a worse place than you are right now? In God's mercy, He orchestrated your life. What feels like a closed door could actually be God's mercy saving you for His best down the road.

What He desires and has planned for us is so much better than the things we think we need now, in our timing, with the answers we've determined are best. He has something even greater and more merciful than what we think we need.

There is mercy in the middle of your mess. Sometimes it starts with redefining what you imagine mercy to be. His mercy is there for the taking. The grace is there for the taking. It's not based on your performance, it's based on His character.

So in whatever Egypt season you find yourself, remember: God can use the bad things in your life to bring about good things. His mercy is at work, His glory is on display, and His plan is ultimately for your good and His glory.

As Romans 9:16 reminds us: "It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy."