Relationships are complicated. With the rise of dating apps and constantly evolving social norms, navigating romantic connections can feel like walking through a minefield. It's easy to get discouraged and wonder if real, lasting love still exists. 

Today I want to dive deep into what God's Word says about marriage, singleness, and healthy relationships. My goal is to provide hope and practical guidance for finding love God's way.

Biblical Marriage: Covenant Not Contract 

Marriage is far more than a human invention or legal contract. It was created by God back in the garden of Eden when He declared that "a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh" (Gen. 2:24). 

Marriage is a sacred covenant ordained by God alone. Although a pastor may pronounce a man and woman husband and wife, God is the one who joins them together. Therefore, we should not separate what He has joined. Marriage is intended to be a permanent, lifelong union between a man and a woma. 

This foundational truth challenges today's throwaway culture that trivializes marriage. Like any relationship, a God-honoring marriage requires sacrifice, selflessness, and commitment. It's not all about whims or fleeting emotions. When troubles come, you can't just walk away on a whim. God's design for marriage is rooted in promise and loyalty.

Jesus on Divorce and Marriage

When questioned about permissible reasons for divorce, Jesus doubled down on God's original intent for marriage. He made it clear that divorcing and remarrying for any reason other than sexual immorality constitutes adultery (Matt. 19:3-12).

This truth may sound harsh in our day when divorce is so common. But God takes marriage very seriously. His perfect will is reconciliation and redemption of brokenness.

In Matthew 19, Jesus confronts the casual view of divorce in his day by pointing back to God's creational intent for marriage. When the Pharisees ask if a man can divorce his wife for "any and every reason," Jesus responds by quoting Genesis 1:27 and 2:24, affirming God's design of marriage as a permanent, exclusive, covenantal union between a man and woman.

Jesus reiterates that there are no loopholes or workarounds. "What God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matt. 19:6). Even though Moses permitted divorce because of hard hearts, this was never God's original plan.

Of course, divorce is painfully common today, even among Christians. Many have been deeply wounded by it. God's grace brings redemption in all circumstances.

As believers, we must hold fast to the biblical standard for marriage even when it feels out of step with culture. Divorce may sometimes be permitted but is not part of God's original design. Our hearts should always lean toward redemption, forgiveness, and reconciliation when possible.

Jesus also acknowledged there are some who are unable to marry traditionally, whether due to being born eunuchs or others making them that way. Still, others choose celibacy to dedicate themselves to God's kingdom. God grants the gift of singleness to some and marriage to others. Our marital status does not determine our worth or standing before God.

Marriage as Parable 

Marriage is meant to reflect Christ's relationship with the church. Husbands are called to sacrificially love their wives just as Jesus gave Himself up for us. And wives are encouraged to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ (Eph. 5:22-33).

In some instances, these instructions have been abused over the years. Submission is not about domineering control or abuse. And sacrificial love doesn't mean husbands indulge a wife's every fleeting fancy. True Christlike love requires mutual humility, service, and prioritizing the other's growth in godliness.

Marriage is meant to be a living parable of the gospel. It points to Jesus's incredible love for His bride, the church. Our marital status does not determine our identity in Christ or standing before God. Both marriage and singleness are gifts to steward for His glory.

Christ-Centered Singleness

Contrary to popular opinion, you can find information on dating nowhere in the Bible.  Dating is a relatively new concept that was invented about 120 years ago.  God is far more concerned about our devotion to Christ and purity than about dating for its own sake. 

The Apostle Paul actually wished everyone could be single like him, free from divided loyalties, and able to serve God more fully (1 Cor. 7:7-8). But he acknowledged that singleness is not for everyone or superior to marriage. 

If you're single, don't view it merely as an unpleasant waiting period until you finally find "the one." S ee it as a special season to deepen intimacy with Christ unhindered. His love for you is complete regardless of your marital status.

Guard against idolizing marriage or a specific person. Be faithful in your current season and serve Jesus with your whole heart. Trust His timing and guidance for any future relationships. 

We all need close, caring relationships. But don't limit this need to marriage alone. Practice honoring and loving family, friends, mentors, and spiritual leaders too. The skills required for godly relationships are the same regardless of marital status.

Discover, Develop, and Deploy

For those hoping to marry someday, avoid soul ties or immediate physical connections. Take time to discover shared values and cultivate emotional intimacy. Then, keep developing your friendship and faith, engaging in service and community together. 

Healthy relationships take time and intentionality. There are no shortcuts. Ultimately, our deepest sense of purpose and fulfillment is found in Christ alone. He must be the true love of our lives.  

I encourage single people to approach relationships using the framework of discover, develop, and deploy.  In the discovery phase, focus on understanding yourself, discerning God's will, and learning about a potential partner's values and gifts without rushing into romance. As you develop the relationship, cultivate Christlike qualities like kindness and self-control. Engage in community and accountability. Finally, you can deploy into an intentional, God-honoring relationship headed toward marriage. 

Avoid skipping steps by moving too quickly to physical intimacy. Take time to establish friendship, faith, and trust first. Discover, develop, and deploy provide a relationship framework that honors God’s design.

Conclusion

In a society of swiping left or right, casual hookups, and disposable relationships, we desperately need God's perspective. He created marriage and singleness both for our good. 

While much wisdom can be gained from God's Word, ultimately, relationships are messy because people are broken. Thankfully, Jesus redeems our brokenness. His grace is greater than all our mistakes and flaws. 

Whether married or single, the solution is not a passive quest for "the one." It's actively loving the people right in front of you today. It's pursuing intimacy with Christ above all else. 

Lasting love and fulfillment are found in Him alone.