Have you ever looked in the mirror and asked yourself, "Can I really change?"
I have stood in front of that mirror, wrestling with something in my life that simply would not go away; a repetitive struggle, an aspect of my character I desperately wanted to transform but felt powerless to overcome. Perhaps you have felt that way too. If so, this is truly for you.
The Raw Honesty We Need
The Apostle Paul gives us one of the most brutally honest passages in all of Scripture in Romans 7:14-25. He does not try to present himself as someone who never makes mistakes. He's not portraying himself as someone who is perfect. You know the type. They say, "Well, I'm not perfect," but what they really mean is "I kind of am, though."
Paul destroys that facade completely. He writes: "For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin" (Romans 7:14). He pulls no punches here. "Sold under sin" means he was an object bound to sin. He is declaring without reservation: I was a slave.
Then he becomes even more vulnerable: "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing that I hate" (Romans 7:15).
This is profound honesty that resonates with every believer's experience.
The Universal Struggle
Why do we struggle to be honest enough to admit we are like this too? We cannot do the things we want to do, yet we do the opposite. Consider the familiar scenario of deciding to get in shape. You lay out your workout clothes on Monday morning (because no one ever starts getting healthy on a Friday. Fridays are for ending things, not starting them). You feel motivated, ready to begin that exercise routine, but then your phone rings. You start answering emails, and before you realize it, it is 1:00 and you find yourself eating snacks instead of working out.
You have skipped your workout and done the exact opposite of what you set out to accomplish.
Paul continues: "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh" (Romans 7:18). This stands in stark contrast to many Christians I encounter because we often try to present ourselves as exceptionally righteous. We catalog our avoided sins: "I don't do this, I don't do that. I'm not like him, and I'm not like her. I've never done drugs, never been drunk, never engaged in sexual immorality."
We think we are remarkably good. But Paul takes a different approach entirely.
Understanding the War Within
Paul is describing a war of two opposing forces within us. There is our redeemed spirit that longs for God, and then there is our flesh. That word "flesh" does not merely refer to our physical appetites. It represents the inward part of human nature that insists on doing things our way, ensuring we benefit from every decision. Our flesh attempts to make us feel good in the moment, to provide immediate gratification, to establish us as the ruler and savior of our own lives.
The truth is, we do not want a Savior. Our human flesh rejects the need for a Savior. This is why when you share the gospel with lost people, they often resist. Why? Because they have positioned themselves as their own savior. When you ask someone, "If there is a heaven and hell, where would you go?" ninety percent of people who do not know Christ respond, "Heaven." Their reasoning? "Because I'm a good person."
The Role of Our Wiring
Before we proceed further, I want to address something many Christians prefer to ignore, though I believe ignoring it proves counterproductive: our genetics, our history, our personal predispositions. The Bible tells us that "every man is tempted when he is drawn away by his own lust" (James 1:14). This reveals that not all of us face temptation in identical ways.
Each of us carries different struggles, and each of us experiences salvation differently. I have witnessed people receive Christ with tears streaming down their faces, and I have observed others have very composed experiences, simply saying, "Thank you, Lord, I accept that in Jesus' name, "who are living faithfully for God twenty years later. Our emotions process spiritual encounters differently.
When my father gave his heart to the Lord, he was instantly delivered from drug addiction. He never experienced the craving again and never required recovery programs. However, that is not everyone's story. When we attempt to make one person's experience the standard for everyone, people who continue to struggle wonder, "What is wrong with me? Am I truly saved?"
Some of us are wired with stronger inclinations toward certain struggles. We carry hereditary predispositions. I come from a family with multiple generations of alcoholics, but I also have preachers on another side of my family tree. I have chosen to embrace one heritage while firmly refusing to open the door to the other path.
The Truth About Change
"Unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of heaven" (John 3:3). The old life is not merely conquered, it is dead. You possess victory over it, but you must ensure daily that it remains dead.
When a caterpillar enters its cocoon, it does not simply grow wings. Everything dissolves until there is literally nothing remaining except biological material, and the butterfly is reborn. The transformation is complete. What existed previously is gone, and something entirely new emerges.
Three Requirements for Real Change
You must be honest about three fundamental truths:
1. Who You Were
Stop attributing blame to others and be honest about who you were before Christ. Sometimes our narratives focus extensively on what others did to us rather than examining how we responded. We bear responsibility for our own actions, regardless of what injustices we may have experienced.
If you have altered the truth in your mind about your former self—if your stories consistently center on terrible things others did while positioning yourself as blameless—you may have constructed a false narrative. This severely undermines your ability to view Christ's work as truly salvific, because you are essentially claiming you needed no salvation.
2. Who You Are
We exhibit the same pattern in the present. "No one gave me opportunities. No one recognized my potential. Look what they did to me." The focus remains on everyone else. Be honest about your sin, the areas where you genuinely struggle, and the thoughts you harbor toward others.
You must maintain accountability and honesty regarding habitual sin, refusing to make excuses but instead exposing these areas for what they truly are. Speak honestly in your time with God: "God, pornography is attempting to control me" or "I struggle with resentment toward others" or "Money has become my god." Whatever the struggle, voice it clearly. In Jesus' name, declare that you will not remain bound by it.
3. Who You Will Be
This represents who we become when we are conformed to the image of Jesus. We have a purpose and destiny. Romans 8 follows Romans 7, and Paul declares: "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1).
The Answer to the Question
In Romans 7:24, Paul cries out: "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" He is asking the fundamental question: "Can a person really change?"
His answer comes in verse 25: "Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"
This is the answer. People can change through Jesus Christ our Lord.
A New Creation
"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:17). We are being transformed into His image with ever-increasing glory. When I was born again, every aspect was made new. I may appear the same and speak similarly, but like that ancient ship where every plank was replaced, I am fundamentally different.
You do not receive salvation and suddenly possess different colored eyes or a new accent. The transformation occurs through the sanctification process—recognizing sin, repenting, and increasingly reflecting Jesus as we live according to His plan each day.
Can people really change? Yes, they can. If they trust in Jesus, they can be born again. We are not merely able to change—we are called to change. God summons us to a life of transformation. The old has passed away, and the new has come.
