Love.Fight.Win

I grew up in a singing, musical family. My sister, parents and I would travel, minister, and play music together. Oftentimes people would stop and tell us, “Oh my goodness! You have the perfect family!” No one truly knew what my parents went through growing up. My mother was sexually abused, and my father was delivered from drug addiction after a powerful experience with God. No one knew the things my parents did to keep our family together and to honor the Lord in the process. We’ve gone through so much to get to where we are, but let me assure you, there is no perfect family. 

“...Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” Nehemiah 4:14

In this passage, Israel moved away from the things of God and were held captive in a land not their own. They lost their spiritual heritage and identity as they spent 70 years away from their homeland. Miraculously, God opened up an opportunity to go back and rebuild Jerusalem under the leadership of Nehemiah. The city had no walls, which made Jerusalem susceptible to attacks from surrounding enemies. What kind of wall surrounds your family? Do you have walls of protection, or are there open areas where the enemy can sneak in and wreak havoc?  

God will provide the means and wisdom we need to build strong families, but we must be intentional. I encourage you to embrace 3 foundational principles: Love. Fight. Win. 

Love. Families need to be in love with God and in love with each other. It’s a lot easier to receive guidance or correction from someone who truly loves you. No matter what you are going through as a family, love must be the glue that holds everyone together.

Fight. We have to stop fighting each other, and start fighting FOR each other. Friends come and go, but family is always family. We have to learn to fight fair and to argue in a healthy way. Needless to say, throwing a shoe across the room is not a healthy way to resolve a conflict.

Win. We are teaching and equipping our children so that one day they will leave our homes to accomplish their God-given purpose. When they leave we need to foster a loving relationship that will continue into their adult lives.  

Relationships are built over time with lots of care, attention, and hard work. No family has it completely together. There is only a perfect God who uses imperfect people to perfect his love in them.